Try One More Time

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No matter what your circumstances are Do not GIVE UP! Try one more time.

Are You Driven by Resentment?

“Nothing on this earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment” -Fredrich Nietzsche

When there are past hurts that we haven’t overcome and we do not release the pain through forgiveness, we may be inclined to rehearse it over and over in our heads. We then become driven by this resentment and it starts to control our lives.

There are two types of resentment-driven people; some “clam up” and internalize their anger while others “blow up” and explode others. Both responses are not helpful nor are they healthy. I happen to be one of the resentment-driven people that “blew up” on people. Anytime there was an argument between me and another person, I would totally lose my cool and freak out on the person and say all kinds of nasty things. I might have not even meant some of them, but I said it anyway just to hurt the other person. I can even remember trying to get physical with some people because I was so full of anger for what had happened to me. I didn’t care what I said or who I hurt by what I said. Of course after I cooled down I would think back on what I did and get so mad for responding negatively. I would then feel guilty for my behavior.

After having two children and finding myself “blowing up” in front of them on a few occasions I knew I had to break the cycle. They were two innocent people that had no idea what was going on and why mommy was so mad all the time. I couldn’t even explain or understand the feeling myself at times, but I was not going to let my anger from my past hurts spew onto my children. They did not deserve that and I certainly did not want them to pick up my behaviors and bring them into their adulthood. So, I decided to take the necessary steps to get emotionally healthy.

Resentment always hurts you more than the person you resent. While you continue to agonize over the things of your past, prolonging the pain, your offender has probably forgotten all about the offense and moved on with their life. You hold the power though. Those whom have harmed you or hurt you cannot continue to hurt you unless you hold on to the pain through resentment. You may be a product of your past, but you are not a prisoner of it. I realized the past is the past you cannot change it. You are only hurting yourself by holding onto the bitterness.

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Happiness is a choice. You’re as happy as you choose to be. Memories of shame, guilt, anger; they may never go away, but you can choose what you think about and overwrite these thoughts. It is never too late change. You can learn from it, then let it go. Job 5:2 says “to worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do.”

We may not desire to forgive a person, but we must forgive anyway. They say unforgiveness is like a poison and a bitterness in your soul and your life will always be bitter until you get rid of that poison. But, God does not want you to sit around “hoping” things will get better. Don’t keep wounds open and active. Living in past experiences of pain prevent new experiences form being able to happen. Holding onto resentment does not make us feel better or heal our hurt. It just prolongs it. But, it is never too late to change. For those of you waiting on God to take away all your pain and hurts, he’s waiting on you. When you choose to forgive and move forward God gives you a winning hand.

Talk it over:

  • Are you holding onto hurts that you never let go or got over? If so what are they?
  • If you had the power to improve one area of your life today, what would it be?

 

Our weaknesses are made great in his love

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As we strive to achieve greater emotional health stress can arise pulling you away from your goals. The problems in our lives tend to conquer our thoughts causing us to become stressed out. And who comes lurking when we become stressed out. That’s right the devil. He likes to make us feel inadequate and tell us we’re not good enough. You’ll never measure up. He will prey on your weaknesses and bring up your past to remind you of your failures, so that he can convince you that you will not succeed.

We need to achieve mental toughness in order to fight off the devil. 1 Peter 5:8 says “Be alert and of sober mind; because your adversary, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour.” The devil knows exactly what to use to tempt you the most, especially when we are worn out and tired. But, God is big enough to bring you through ANY challenge.

We don’t have stay defeated when the enemy tries to attack. This is why we must be vigilant and of sober mind so, that when temptations come into your life you will not give in when you’re tired and stressed out. You will know how to fight back; no matter what the circumstances are. We must stay mentally tough.

I have personally faced many challenges including overcoming being sexually abused, being a single mother while going to college, losing my own mother, growing my faith in Christ, and many other challenges. My ability to overcome these hardships and many others has been rooted in mental toughness and obedience to God. Challenges are inevitable but tough times don’t last, tough people do.

2 Corinthians 12:9 retorts back with “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” His grace is sufficient enough to strengthen and comfort you in all afflictions. When we are weak ourselves, we can become strong in the grace of Jesus Christ. Forget mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and DO IT. Don’t give up.

Above all else we must consistently pray and ask for help and guidance. We become more patient by praying which helps us wait on God’s timing and not our own. Don’t go in panic mode and think that you have to do everything quickly. Not everything can be fixed right away. We need to pray and wait on God to see what he says. Therefore, do not let the devil tempt you. Stay mentally tough so that you can live out the best life God has for you.

Talk it over:

  • How can you reduce negativity in your life that is keeping you discouraged?
  • What goal have you abandoned and need to refocus so that you can accomplish something God has called you to do?

 

 

 

You are not alone, your life matters

All of us can say at some point in our life we have been tempted or attacked even if you do not experience depression on a daily basis. The National Institute of Mental Health states that major depression is one of the most common mental Disorders in the United States, affecting nearly 7 percent of the population.

Depression can drain your energy, hope, and ambition, making it difficult to go about your day and complete daily tasks.

There is no quick or easy solution to overcome depression and it isn’t an easy process. You can’t just say to yourself to “snap out of it,” However even if your depression is severe you do have more control than you realize.

A major key in overcoming depression is the mind. I work in mental health so, I realize that depression may be the result of a physical or chemical imbalance. However, for a great number of people, depression is a spiritual issue.

What you think about has the power to affect every area of your life. Therefore we must stop engaging in “stinking thinking” and renew our minds with positive thinking. Clear thinking leads to self-control of negative thoughts.

It’s impossible to control all of our circumstances or escape experiencing pain or disappointment, but we have a choice. We don’t have to let what happens today ruin tomorrow. We can make the decision to turn things around by making a decision to let go of the situations that caused discouragement and depression and move towards all the wonderful things God has planned for your life.

Overcoming depression also requires action, but taking action when you’re depressed can seem impossible, but when you decide to take action you can find hope in new opportunities and overcome the problem. Just like any other medical condition you need to have an action plan to manage your recovery to get better.

Despite what you’re going through depression doesn’t have to rule your life. We may believe that we cannot accomplish anything and you are worthless, But, I am here to tell you depression is a LIAR!!! You can take your pain and turn it into something great. Eleanor Roosevelt says “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are then able to say to yourself, I have lived through this horror, I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

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You are not alone and your life matters. The best way to get started in your recovery is to talk with someone you trust. Sometimes confiding to them and expressing your emotions out loud can make a huge difference in how you’re feeling. Even writing how you are feeling down can be very empowering.

I know for me when I’m feeling depressed I always look up scriptures in the bible that go along with whatever I’m feeling, or I will look up that feeling on the internet and see what scriptures or bible studies there are that go along with it. I can tell you that by just doing that has really encouraged me. The scriptures I read would speak volumes to me. I felt like it was just for me and God was letting me know that everything was going to be alright.

If you really want regain control of your life. You have to be committed to the process, because it is not easy and requires work. I don’t say this to be harsh, but it’s the truth.

I really encourage you to reach out to your family, friends, co-workers, or your pastor. Together you can come up with a plan on how to better manage your symptoms. Be as proactive as possible and push ahead so you can gain the strength, courage, and confidence you need to become a better you.

If you are in need of depression support please leave a comment or if you prefer you can email me.

 

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