I look at the same four walls of my room feeling confined; trapped. I want to get out, but my body won’t move. It feels safe in here. Its easier to block out the world this way.
I can remember for years my bedroom was my safe haven. Every time I came home I would do what I needed to do around the house then head straight to my room. I would stay there until I had to leave again. I hardly ever sat in the living room. It was only when I had visitors that I sat there.
If any of you struggle with depression or anxiety then you know what I’m talking about. Depression can be hard to explain but, let me tell you it is probably one of the worst feelings ever. You’re not sure what’s wrong with you. You think you aren’t good enough, you’re not worthy, you’re not doing things right. The list goes on.
It’s hard to envision being really happy again. Your hope diminishes daily. It’s like a quote that I saw “It’s wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely. It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.”
Despite how far we have advanced in Mental Health, stigma’s still exist when it comes to the topic of depression. Because of this most people don’t want to talk about it. Myself included. At times I don’t mind talking about it, then other days I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. Some days it’s just too hard to explain.
If you are feeling this way I encourage you to reach out for help. A trusted friend, family member. Or if you need to seek professional help. You may never be a 100 percent healed. You might still have a bad day or week, but with help your depression and anxiety can be managed.
Thankfully I came to a place where I got tired of being depressed. I didn’t want to live the rest of my life “confined by these walls.” I wanted to visit new places and learn new things. Most of all I wanted to be able to enjoy my time with my loved ones. So, I had to step outside of my comfort zone to be able to get there. I pray you can too.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone. I know some people feel you are weak if you seek help, but trust me you are not. Wanting to better yourself and being at peace is anything but weak. It takes true strength and courage to be able to move past certain experiences. Some people never do. But, I pray that you find that strength and courage so that you can be at peace.
On your bad days I hope you:
#dailyaffirmationswithsteph #hopedealer #lovealwaysprevails13 #purpose #happiness #light #joy #life #pray #trust #trustGod #mentalhealth #change #obedience #endurance #perseverance #dedication #hardwork #stayfocused #staypositive #keepgoing #dontquit #dontgiveup #letsgo